Small Business Owners Share Their Craziest Customer Stories

Keep Your Privates Private

“Back in the punk rock era in the ‘80s, I had a customer come in and ask me to make her hair magenta,” said Trish Heinz, a former hair salon owner in Ohio who is now a health and wellness coach. “Being a pretty conservative person, I didn't feel comfortable with someone walking around with magenta hair with my name on it, so I compromised with her and said I could make it a burgundy color; and I did.

“About a week later, she came back in and said, ‘Can you color my pubic hair to match?' Shocked, I looked around my little 800-square-foot salon area which contained a waiting area next to the working chair area, the large floor-to-ceiling glass of the studio's front windows with the street light right outside where people always stopped and looked in while at the red light, and said, ‘Where would you like me to do this? Unless you want the entire neighborhood to see what's going on, I don't think I can help you; and also, I believe that would be physically dangerous to your pubic area.' She was disappointed and left. I never saw her again. Whew!”

(H2) Stuff of Nightmares

“A woman once called me screaming at 10 p.m. because she dreamed the kitten she was adopting would ‘grow up to hate her,'” said Lucy Appell, professional cat breeder at Bells Purr. “She demanded I ‘psychically evaluate' the kitten to ensure it wouldn't have trust issues. I tried to calmly explain feline socialization and that dreams aren't part of our screening process, but she wouldn't have it. Eventually, I refunded her deposit — and gave the kitten to a perfectly sane, loving home. The story's now legendary in my household — we still refer to it as ‘The Nightmare Adoption.'”

Frivolous Lawsuit

“A few summers ago I had an outraged customer threaten to sue me because her granny had a serious accident involving the dog cooling mat she purchased from me the previous week,” said Jenny Prevel, owner of dog accessory store D for Dog.

“Confused as to how a plastic mat could cause any kind of injury, let alone a serious one, I apologized profusely and asked for more information about the incident. I was told that the cool mat had been placed in the middle of the living room and granny, instead of going around the gel-filled mat, had stepped directly onto it and apparently nearly met her maker. Then the threats started: If I did not compensate the customer for this shocking health and safety issue, she was going to sue me for damages.

“I asked if granny was OK and was told she was fine and hadn't actually fallen. I was furiously informed, however, that she could easily have slipped and fallen or worse. When I very politely suggested the customer move the mat out of the center of the room, she replied that she lives in a small house and asked what I was going to do about it? Unsure if she was asking what I was going to do about her non-injured granny or her very small house, I advised her to ask all relatives not to step on the cooling mat, as I was not personally responsible for anyone going on an unscheduled magic carpet ride.

“She never did sue me, of course, but she did leave a one-star review saying, ‘Not fit for purpose.' This complaint is so common I actually have it written on a mug. Customers never fail to surprise me anymore.”

Leaves of Grass

“I have been in the landscaping industry for over 25 years and have dealt with some crazy people,” said Gene Caballero, co-founder of landscaping app GreenPal. “The craziest homeowner I've ever dealt with called me back to his property because he wasn't satisfied with the edging he received. When I arrived, he pointed out exactly four blades of grass barely hanging over the sidewalk and asked that we trim them. It was one of the most meticulous, and unforgettable, requests I've ever received to this day.”

They Could've Made a Fortune

“I own a small family-owned moving business. Shortly after starting our business, we were hired to do a big move job to downsize a house to a much smaller house,” said Deborah Anderson, vice president of The American Dream Moving & Storage. “We had recently got a warehouse and office, and I wanted a larger L-shaped desk, so I requested if any job was getting rid of one to let me know. While this job was going on, I got a call from my husband saying this lady had a nice L-shaped desk and I could have it if I wanted. I of course told him that I would love to have it.

“There were many pieces brought back to our warehouse that the woman had asked us to sell for her, including the desk she was giving me. As they were unloading the desk from the truck (which was in a couple pieces), the guys were complaining about how heavy it was, and someone said they heard jingling sounds. Since the desk had been cleared out, I was concerned something was wrong with it. We started to pull out all the drawers and found three bags of coins, including one that had a security closure on it. These were obviously worth a lot of money. My guys insisted I should keep the coins — after all she did give me the desk. I decided that our business integrity was more important and decided they needed to be returned.

“After returning them and getting barely a thank you from the customer, I was a little disappointed. There was someone there helping this lady move and she said that it must have been from her ex (or soon to be ex-husband) and that he had hidden assets all over the house. After hearing this, I researched the customer's name and found her husband had just been arrested for embezzling a lot of money. Nobody knew about the coins and would never have noticed them missing, but because I was a new moving company and wanted to keep our reputation in good standing, I returned them when I could have kept them. I do believe I did the right thing — and I still have the desk.”

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Gross Misuse

“We created Coffee Dust as a line of flavorful spice blends to stir into your coffee — no sugar, no junk, just a dash of something delicious. But one customer took off-label use to a new level,” said Christy Clement, founder of Vashon Island Coffee Dust. “Here's the actual message I received (yes, seriously):

“ ‘Hi, love the product! But have a concern with 2 flavors. Admittedly I have been using the Coffee Dust off-label in that I find it just as effective as talcum to powder my scrotum — with a much more pleasing odor. Especially the Cocoa Calm and Captain's! It's also added a fresh dynamic to date night. However, the Spicy Papa and Hot Mama cause me some discomfort. It's my hope that future packaging have a warning regarding this in order to help others. Surely this can be resolved without having to resort to legal counsel.'

“In case you're wondering, yes, those two flavors contain cayenne pepper. Needless to say, Coffee Dust is intended for coffee — not body powder. But the best part? He was still a fan.”

Amy Rzepka, owner of skincare company Beesential, also warned that products must be used correctly to be effective.

“As a small family business that creates natural skincare products, we've had our share of interesting customer interactions, but one moment stands out as particularly memorable,”

Rzepka said. “At a farmer's market, a woman tried a sample of our hand cream, which is designed for moisturizing the skin. To our surprise, she proceeded to eat it like honey instead of applying it to her hands or body. When we gently explained that it was a cream and not meant for consumption, she responded cheerfully, saying we had mentioned it contained honey. We confirmed that it did, and she happily declared that it tasted good. She then went ahead and finished off the entire sample from her hand!

“This experience was truly a first for us — having a skincare product that doubled as an impromptu snack! We shared a good laugh and still tell this story as a reminder to consider labeling our samples with ‘For external use only' in extra-bold print.”

Wedding Bells

“As the owner of a 24-hour wedding chapel in Southern California, I've got plenty of wild customer stories — enough to write a full-on Netflix series,” said Alan Kantz, owner of Great Officiants. “But here's one that stands out: One night, around 3 a.m., I got a call from a couple who wanted to get married immediately. Since we're open 24/7, I sleepily ran through my usual qualifying questions. They were good to go, so I sent over the payment link and marriage license info, and we locked in a 4 a.m. ceremony.

“At 4 a.m. on the dot, they arrived. While we were filling out the paperwork, I asked why the early morning rush. They answered, ‘He has to report to prison at 6 a.m.' I decided not to ask for details — some things are better left to the imagination. I performed the ceremony, handed them their paperwork and sent them off with a smile (and probably a ticking clock). As I left the office and walked toward my car, I passed their van in the lot. And let's just say: If the van's a rockin'… you know the rest. Ah, romance on a deadline.”

Three's a Crowd

“I'm a couples counselor and director of the Baltimore Therapy Center,” said Raffi Bilek. “My ‘customer' stories will surely have a different flavor than other business owners. But here's one that stands out to me: One time, a couple comes in to talk about their relationship, which is not going well. I start off by asking the usual questions, getting some background information and all that. They are young professionals, both lovely people. They are not married — but he is. Yep, he was having an affair and came in with the affair partner for couples counseling. Eek!”

It's All Part of the Job

For small business owners, dealing with the occasional crazy customer isn't just part of the job —it's a rite of passage. These outrageous moments, while frustrating in the moment, often become the unforgettable stories you laugh about later. Whether it's someone trying to eat your skincare samples or politely declining to dye someone's private parts, these experiences are more than anecdotes, they're a badge of honor that proves you've got the grit, patience and humor to run a business in the real world.